Three years earlier, the Holy Spirit had led him out of the river, straight to the desert. For forty days he fasted. And, I have to think, for forty days he prayed. How could he not? Surely, in the desert, he prayed. Surely, in the desert, he recited scripture he'd memorized, scriptures from Israel in the desert no doubt. But into this intruded the devil, bringing with him at least the three temptations recorded in the Gospels. What was Jesus doing when the devil made himself known? Perhaps the devil interrupted Jesus' prayers (Mark 1:12-13).
That was three years ago. Now, Jesus led his disciples, not into a sunny desert, but into a dark garden, an olive grove. Along the way, as their hymn drew to its end, he warned them of the sharp crisis coming upon them so shortly, that they'd fall away and scatter when he was stricken, but that he'd be raised up and meet them again (Mark 14:26-27). Reaching Gethsemane, he bade most disciples sit guard and wait, as he brought just three deeper with him, urging them to keep vigil into the dead of night, praying as a greater darkness fell (Mark 14:32-35). But their vigil fell short. Their bodies and brains were worn out. Their minds wandered from the central need at hand. Distracted, they drifted off, and Jesus found them, again and again, asleep in his hour of greatest need (Mark 14:37-38, 40-41). Meanwhile, if the desert had seen Jesus' prayer assailed by temptation, the garden saw it faced with disturbance. As he neared the place of prayer, he “began to be greatly distressed and troubled” (Mark 14:33). His soul was so sad, it was a terminal condition all on its own (Mark 14:34).
The rest of the story, we know. As his disciples scattered in terror, Jesus was taken to the cross, with human cruelty ultimately being harnessed to fulfill his Father's will, by this lethal means to bring salvation by sacrifice. Rising from the dead on the third day, the Lord Jesus met his disciples just as he'd promised. From their day onward, the Church continued to face persecution, but in between and afterwards, some Christians were desperate for greater closeness with God in prayer, yearning to walk with Jesus in his fasting, to kneel with him in the garden. So one here, one there, moved to the fringes of civilization, devoting themselves to spiritual activities at the expense of all we'd call ordinary life. They started just at the edge of town, but then moved deeper and deeper into the desert, to make all of life a Lent. There they experimented with how far the pursuit of pure spirituality could go – and they studied and spoke on all the obstacles a serious Christian could face.
Among these 'Desert Fathers,' there was Anthony, one of the first to press deliberately beyond the edge of his Egyptian village into a true no-man's-land. When he first committed himself to a life of full-time prayer, his mind was assailed recurrently with all sorts of other thoughts – wistfulness, worry, desire. As neither distraction nor temptation dissuaded him, as he persisted in prayer, the devil finally resorted to attacking Anthony in more audible and visible ways – all of which Anthony fended off. Then, and only then, did Anthony pierce the depths of the desert.1 Years went by, and among the disciples and visitors who approached him was a teenage boy from Palestine named Hilarion. For two months, Hilarion observed Anthony's spiritual life. Hilarion resolved to imitate him. But even he, now and then, found his mind “distracted from prayer by some thought or other.”2
Far north, in Turkey, a young man named Basil, wealthy grandson of a martyred grandpa, was baptized not long after Anthony died. After a world tour to meet people like Hilarion, Basil went home to imitate that life of self-denial there. Basil was so enthusiastic about how blessed it'd be to “imitate on earth the choirs of angels: hastening at break of day to pray, to glorify the Creator with hymns and songs, and, when the sun is brightly shining and we turn to our tasks, to accompany them everywhere with prayer.”3 In this way, “we become in a special manner temples of God when earthly thoughts cease to interrupt our continual remembrance of him.”4 But from the outset, Basil mourned that “although I've left the distractions of the city..., I haven't yet succeeded in forsaking myself. … Since we carry around with us our innate passions, we're everywhere subject to the same disturbances; therefore, we have not profited much from this solitude.”5
Meanwhile, back in the Egyptian desert, the movement Anthony inspired was swelling with many who devoted themselves to full-time prayer and fasting. There was Macarius, who tried to keep his mind totally on God for five days straight. Locking his door, he began to contemplate God so intensely that a demon burned up his room in outrage. But “in the end,” Macarius said, “I desisted on the third day, without having succeeded in making my mind undistracted.”6 And then there was Agathon, who even from his youth gained a reputation for his spirituality. Yet in his old age, when his disciples asked him what part of the Christian life was hardest, Agathon answered: “I reckon there is no exertion like praying to God without distraction … Prayer requires struggle until the last breath.”7 That same sentiment was echoed by Evagrius. Ordained by Basil, he became a disciple of Macarius. In his short book on the joys and trials of prayer, he wrote honestly about the “concerns and considerations that come” to “trouble and disturb you so as to slacken your intensity.”8
Now, you and I probably don't need to keep vigil in a garden, or move out to the desert, to find that Anthony, Hilarion, Basil, Agathon, Macarius, Evagrius, and those who followed were right about some of this stuff. This Lent, we've started looking at some of the obstacles that crop up as we try to begin or persist in a spiritual activity – prayer, reading Scripture, worshipping in church, and so on. Last week, our focus was on dryness. But this week, we face new obstacles. One of those is when disturbance enters the soul. You try something spiritual, but you just feel troubled, restless, fidgety.9 Another obstacle is temptation. You try to do something spiritual, but you find yourself pulled toward other activities, sinful or not, as a way of putting off spiritual activities for another time.10 And finally, there's this third obstacle, distraction. Thoughts and feelings intrude and interrupt your spiritual activities, or your mind wanders, loses focus, in ways that steal your savor. “To say we're distracted,” it's been said, “is to admit that... something we value less is diverting our efforts from something we value more (or should),” or else we find ourselves “waylaid by dissipated consciousness.”11
Now, sometimes these obstacles come from our circumstances or environment. John Climacus, a later desert monks, wrote that even “a minor concern interferes with stillness.”12 And ain't that the truth! If there's a lot of noise around you, it's harder to pray, read Scripture, worship, etc. The same's true if you've got noise inside, as from personal trials. Any of those can disrupt or derail the refreshment you're hoping to find. These obstacles can also come from what one monk called “the weakness of the body.”13 That's what happened to the disciples in Gethsemane, “for their eyes were heavy” (Matthew 26:43). The spirit may have been willing, but the flesh was so drowsy as to overcome their spiritual effort (Mark 14:38). Other times, it's not the natural impulses of the body but of the mind that throw up the obstacles. Evagrius pointed out that “the mind has a strong natural tendency to be plundered by the memory at the time of prayer.”14 “The human mind is unable to remain aloft for long,” so that “while praying..., suddenly it wanders off through weakness.”15
Life circumstances, environment, natural weakness of body and mind... and as if that weren't enough, we have spiritual enemies. Evagrius warned that “if you cultivate the practice of prayer, be prepared for the incursions of demons.”16 Anthony warned of “evil spirits tempting us out of envy and seeking to divert those who attempt to sanctify themselves.”17 Evagrius explained that “the demon is very jealous of the person at prayer and uses every trick to frustrate his purpose... so he can impede his excellent course and his setting out towards God.”18
So, whether the origin is natural or spiritual, you probably know what some of this feels like. Maybe when you try to sit down and read the Bible, you find yourself mentally disengaging from what God is saying in the text. Maybe when you kneel to pray, you're overcome with difficult or distracting thoughts amidst the prayer. Maybe when you lay out a plan for your spiritual growth, you face sudden onsets of temptations, or it becomes so easy to think of things you'd rather do or feel like you have to get done first before you can pray. Maybe you want to come to church, but Sunday mornings it's even harder to get out of bed than on other days for some reason. Or you do come to church, but you find yourself nodding off during the sermon, or checking your watch, or thinking mainly about lunch. These are the sorts of distractions and temptations that hinder spiritual activities. And John Climacus warns that our spiritual activities may be “tarnished when we stand before God, our minds seething with irrelevancies.”19 It's not good for us to surrender to these disturbances, temptations, distractions.
Instead of surrendering, though, God means for us to face these obstacles. And that begins before they begin. For starters, resist temptations, especially the sinful ones, right off the bat. They get weaker when they go unfed. Don't make a habit of sin, or of easily chasing distractions, because doing so makes it harder to stay engaged with God. Then there are those other natural factors of weakness. You can try to minimize their interference. Macarius once tried to conquer his urges to sleep, but admitted that if he'd continued, “my brain would've been so dessicated that eventually I'd have been driven to distraction.”20 One pastor I know of is fond of the phrase “Sunday morning church is a Saturday night decision.” Try to be well-rested before you get here.
Before you start a spiritual activity, try to calm yourself and clear your mind first. John Cassian explained that “because of the workings of memory, whatever has preoccupied our mind before the time of prayer must of necessity intrude on our actual prayers.”21 So Evagrius suggested: “Strive to have your mind stand deaf and dumb at the time of prayer, and you will be able to pray.”22 Then, center yourself on God at the outset of your spiritual activity, and set aside other preoccupations as far as possible.23 John Climacus warned that “someone who is occupied with some task and continues with it at the hour of prayer is being fooled by the demons.”24 As you proceed, try to keep cultivating that attentiveness to God's active involvement. When someone asked Basil how to reach undistracted prayer, he said: “Through being fully persuaded that God is before one's eyes.”25
As you go, likely you'll notice your focus begin to slip, or other thoughts intrude, or your mind wander. When you do, first of all, with an admission that what we're facing is normal, not some glaring hole in our heart. One old monk said that “not being distracted... belongs only to those who have purified senses, whereas we are still weak.”26 “Even holy men sometimes suffer from a wandering of the mind when they pray.”27 It happens. But as you notice it, nip it in the bud – “prick yourself when you notice this temptation arising.”28 Then, whatever the case, ask God for help. Evagrius suggested to “pray first to be purified from the passions; second, to be delivered from ignorance and forgetfulness; and third, from all temptation and abandonment.”29
If your attention wavers, breathe deep and know that even an inattentive spiritual act isn't totally fruitless, only reduced – it's still worth showing up, still worth going on, even if you're not fully in it.30 And understand that pressing forward in perseverance is part of what Jesus meant when he said to carry your cross and follow him. “If a person would gain spiritual freedom and not be continually troubled, let him begin by not being afraid of the cross, and he will find that the Lord will help him bear it.”31 Pushing forward, try to steer yourself back to attentiveness. The old monks said that “if you are praying to God and become distracted, struggle until you begin praying without distraction.32” For “the soul must be restrained from all meandering... so that it may rise bit by bit to the contemplation of God.”33 “Stability cannot be obtained except by a continuous effort.”34
Where possible, you might break down your spiritual activities into smaller bites. Evagrius recommended that “in times of temptations..., use a short and intense prayer.”35 John Cassian explained that “the reason why our prayers ought to be frequent and brief is in case the enemy, who is out to trap us, should slip a distraction to us if ever we are long-drawn-out.”36 And where possible, you might mix up your spiritual activities. Basil said that “we consider it a help when there is diversity and variety in the prayers and psalms at the assigned hours, because somehow, when there is monotony, the soul wearies more readily and becomes a prey to distraction, but when there is change and variety..., its desire is refreshed and its vigilance restored.”37
As you press on, meditate on the live possibility that your challenges are spiritual warfare. If you can't refocus out of sheer desire for God, do it out of stubborn spite at the devil. Anthony said that “the more evil spirits do such things, the more we should intensify our... exercises against them.”38 And meditate on how you don't go to war alone. After Jesus faced temptation in the desert, “the angels were ministering to him” (Mark 1:13). After Jesus endured disturbance in the garden, “an angel from heaven” was “strengthening him” (Luke 22:43). And Evagrius taught that the same happens, unseen, to you in spiritual activities: “The holy angels encourage us in prayer and stand present with us, at the same time rejoicing and praying on our behalf. If, then, we grow careless and admit contrary thoughts, we vex them greatly, because they struggle so hard on our behalf...”39
Finally, as you finish your spiritual activity – prayer, Bible reading, church, or something else – and you know that you couldn't stay as fully engaged as would've been best for you, you can balance it out by turning to God for mercy on your lapses. “Since we are weak, persist to the end of your prayer, then prick your heart and say with compunction: 'Lord, have mercy on me and forgive all of my offenses.'”40 And so, calling your mind back to God, “run toward the mercy of God, for he is compassionate and awaits us like that prodigal son.”41 But take heart that, even when you feel like you're just too burdened and distracted to keep focused, your mind can be implicitly on God when you live well and do what's right, “for having a commandment and spending time to keep it constitute both obedience and remembrance of God.”42
Disturbance, temptation, and distraction are real challenges you and I face when we try to seek God, whether in prayer, scripture, church, or other spiritual activities. These things should annoy us, because while they might be normal, they do rob us of the refreshment and progress God ultimately wants us to have – and if we give in to them, we might slow down or stop our progress. But with God's grace and a wise game-plan, we can pursue a course that rises above these obstacles and presses onward on this great human journey toward the face of God. I'll give Evagrius the last word here: “Blessed is the mind which prays without distraction and acquires an ever greater longing for God.”43 May we come closer and closer to such minds and hearts, in Jesus' name.
Prayer
Almightily merciful God and Father, from eternity you chose our creation, from eternity you willed our redemption, in your eternity you think of us and love us, for if for even a millisecond you paid us no attention, we would cease to exist. If your eye is on the sparrow, certainly not one hair on our heads escapes your thoughtful notice. Yet we confess that we find it hard to think of you, pray to you, meditate on you, do actions that directly connect us to you, even a fraction so much as you think of us. Cure us of these weaknesses, deliver us from temptations, shield us from disturbances and distractions, so that we may indeed live on earth like angels, doing your will here as in heaven above, and keep our praying and reading and singing and serving fixated purely and gloriously on you. Have mercy on us and bear with us in our lapses of attention, Lord. Favor us with your all-surpassing kindness, and guide your minds, hearts, and souls to your contemplation so that we may practice heaven even now in all our spiritual acts and attitudes. In this way, raise us into truer disciples who imitate Jesus, in whose name we plead for this grace. Amen.
1 Athanasius of Alexandria, Life of Saint Anthony 5-10, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 15:138-145.
2 Jerome of Stridon, Life of Saint Hilarion of Gaza 8, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 15:250.
3 Basil of Caesarea, Letter 2, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 13:7.
4 Basil of Caesarea, Letter 2, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 13:9.
5 Basil of Caesarea, Letter 2, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 13:5.
6 Macarius of Alexandria, quoted in Palladius of Aspuna, Lausiac History 18.17-18, in John Wortley, tr., Palladius of Aspuna: The Lausiac History, Cistercian Studies Series 252 (Cistercian Publications, 2015), 43-44.
7 Agathon of Scetis, in Sayings of the Desert Fathers, Systematic Collection 12.2, in John Wortley, tr., The Book of the Elders: Sayings of the Desert Fathers: Systematic Collection, Cistercian Studies Series 240 (Cistercian Publications, 2012), 216.
8 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 9, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 194.
9 Timothy Gallagher, Struggles in the Spiritual Life: Their Nature and Their Remedies (Sophia Institute Press, 2022), 38-39.
10 Timothy Gallagher, Struggles in the Spiritual Life: Their Nature and Their Remedies (Sophia Institute Press, 2022), 44-45.
11 Damon Young, Distraction, The Art of Living (Routledge, 2014 [2008]), 3.
12 John Climacus, Ladder of Divine Ascent 27, in Colm Luibheid and Norman Russell, tr., John Climacus: The Ladder of Divine Ascent, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1982), 269.
13 Barsanuphius (or John the Prophet), Letter 509, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 114:109.
14 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 44, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 197.
15 Thomas Aquinas, Summa theologiae II-II, q.83, a.13, reply to objection 2.
16 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 91, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 203.
17 Anthony of Egypt, Letter 1.41, in Samuel Rubenson, The Letters of St. Antony: Monasticism and the Making of a Saint (Fortress Press, 1995), 199.
18 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 46, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 197.
19 John Climacus, Ladder of Divine Ascent 28, in Colm Luibheid and Norman Russell, tr., John Climacus: The Ladder of Divine Ascent, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1982), 277.
20 Macarius of Alexandria, quoted in Palladius of Aspuna, Lausiac History 18.3, in John Wortley, tr., Palladius of Aspuna: The Lausiac History, Cistercian Studies Series 252 (Cistercian Publications, 2015), 39.
21 John Cassian, Conferences 9.3, in Colm Luibheid, tr., John Cassian: Conferences, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1985), 102.
22 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 11, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 194.
23 Brant Pitre, Introduction to the Spiritual Life: Walking the Path of Prayer with Jesus (Image, 2021), 10-11.
24 John Climacus, Ladder of Divine Ascent 28, in Colm Luibheid and Norman Russell, tr., John Climacus: The Ladder of Divine Ascent, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1982), 278.
25 Basil of Caesarea, Asketikon, Short Response 201.1, in Anna M. Silvas, The Asketikon of Basil the Great (Oxford University Press, 2005), 382.
26 Barsanuphius (or John the Prophet), Letter 443, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 114:62.
27 Thomas Aquinas, Summa theologiae II-II, q.83, a.13, sed contra.
28 Barsanuphius (or John the Prophet), Letter 446, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 114:63.
29 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 37, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford UP, 2003), 196.
30 Thomas Aquinas, Summa theologiae II-II, q.83, a.13.
31 Teresa of Avila, The Life of the Holy Mother Teresa of Jesus 11, in E. Allison Peers, tr., The Complete Works of St. Teresa of Avila (Burns & Oates, 2002 [1946]), 1:70.
32 Barsanuphius (or John the Prophet), Letter 443, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 114:62.
33 John Cassian, Conferences 9.3, in Colm Luibheid, tr., John Cassian: Conferences, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1985), 102.
34 John Cassian, Conferences 10.14, in Colm Luibheid, tr., John Cassian: Conferences, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1985), 139.
35 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 98, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 203.
36 John Cassian, Conferences 9.36, in Colm Luibheid, tr., John Cassian: Conferences, Classics of Western Spirituality (Paulist Press, 1985), 124.
37 Basil of Caesarea, Asketikon, Long Response 37.5, in Anna M. Silvas, The Asketikon of Basil the Great (Oxford University Press, 2005), 247.
38 Anthony of Egypt, in Athanasius of Alexandria, The Life of St. Anthony 30, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 15:163.
39 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 81, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 201.
40 Barsanuphius (or John the Prophet), Letter 444, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 114:62.
41 John the Prophet (or Barsanuphius), Letter 660, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 114:231.
42 Barsanuphius, Letter 328, in Fathers of the Church: A New Translation 113:303.
43 Evagrius Ponticus, Chapters on Prayer 118, in Robert E. Sinkewicz, tr., Evagrius of Pontus: The Greek Ascetic Corpus (Oxford University Press, 2003), 206.
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