Two men like
that could scarcely have been more different. And yet, one Ash
Wednesday evening, the both of them stood in the same sanctuary in
the First Baptist Church of Somewheresville. They didn't arrive at
the same time, and certainly not together. Not even close on either
count. Thurston was one of the first ones there. He made sure of
it. Dressed in an immaculate three-piece suit, he strolled to the
second pew, sat near the center aisle. It was a couple pews in
advance of where most folks felt comfortable sitting. There was
plenty of room in that big sanctuary, you know.
Everybody
knew Thurston. Thurston sat on the borough council. Thurston was a
board member here. If you needed help, you turned to Thurston.
Thurston wouldn't let you down. See, Thurston always went above and
beyond the call of duty. Thurston budgeted ample resources for
generosity. Every Sunday morning, you could faithfully hear the
offering plate go clunk when
it came by Thurston. Same for every special offering – half of
what went into the plate at the back of the sanctuary fell out of
Thurston's hand. Above and beyond
– always Thurston's motto. He knew the Bible backward and forward,
up and down. Celebrated every holy day with exacting precision. Ran
a successful business, and gave his employees their Christmas bonuses
without fail. Thurston was articulate – he volunteered to preach
whenever the pastor went on vacation, and half the congregation
sometimes wished the pastor wouldn't come back so they could keep
Thurston! He was a fountainhead of moral advice. He avoided all the
classic vices scrupulously – never smoke, never drank, never
gambled, never danced. (Hey, it was a Baptist church, after all.)
Faithful and supportive of his lovely wife. Everybody knew Thurston.
A man without scandal, trustworthy and true. A role model to the
whole church.
Thurston
was a real stand-up guy. So Thurston stood up. And Thurston prayed.
Words flowed off Thurston's tongue. “Almighty and Everlasting
God, I thank thee most highly and most heartily that thou hast seen
fit to bless me in multitudinous ways. Thou hast prospered me, and
thou hast extended mine borders. I thank thee, O Lord Most High,
that thou hast made me who I am. For surely I could have been raised
differently; I could have had a weaker character; I could have had
less opportunity; I could have taken less initiative. But God, my
God, I am not like other men, those who disappoint thee or disobey
thee. O God, I am not unrighteous. O God, I am not an adulterer. O
God, I am not a thief. O God, I am not a murderer or gangster. O
God, I dress well. O God, I am not a drunkard, nor a smoker, nor a
gambler, nor an addict. I stand for thy values, I write letters to
my Congressman, I quote thy words to him. Thy favor is upon me, as
all my dealings and all my prosperity doth abundantly attest, O God
of heaven. And so I thank thee, O God, that I am not like those many
other men – weaklings, reprobates, hypocrites, judgmental,
militant, bigoted, promiscuous, greedy, bankrupt, rapacious,
traitorous, and unreliable. I thank thee especially, O God, that I
am not like him,”
prayed Thurston, noticing out of the corner of his eye as a
bedraggled figure crept sheepishly toward the back pew. “For I, O
God, pray three times a day. And I, O God, hold vigils to take
America back in thy name. And I, O God, never fall short of a full
tithe. I am chaste, truthful, virtuous. Whatever thou hast asked
for in thy word, I render it double unto thee. And so, Almighty and
Everlasting God, this is my confession: I thank thee in advance for
another year of reward and plenty. Look down from thy holy
habitation in heaven and bless me, as thou art bound by thine promise
so to do.”
And
Thurston sat down. Thurston shares a great deal in common with a
story Jesus once told – a story we heard read this morning.
Thurston, had he lived in first-century Judea, would have been a
card-carrying Pharisee. It's easy for us to forget, given the dim
view of Pharisaic spirituality that prevails in the Gospels, that to
most Jews of the time, the Pharisees were spiritual rock-stars. They
were superheroes. They avoided obvious vices. They had their hearts
set on renewing Israel and paving the way for the Messiah through
national righteousness. They scrupulously obeyed the Law of Moses –
the one in the parable went above and beyond the Law, carrying out
acts of piety so intense, as if to put God somehow in his debt. The
Pharisees held sin at the greatest distance by building a 'fence'
around the Law, carefully steering clear of any infractions. And
they held themselves out as an example for others to imitate.
Thurston would've made a fine Pharisee; in fact, he did (cf. Luke
18:10-12).
The
trouble here, you see, is that Thurston's prayer knows nothing of
real grace or real mercy. It doesn't glorify God at all. Thurston's
prayer glorifies Thurston. Thurston's prayer fits very poorly with
Ash Wednesday, or any day of the Christian life. Thurston speaks
volumes on his fidelity to the Law, his achievements, his fulfillment
of the commandments. But the people Thurston distances himself from:
he doesn't love them as himself, which is a pretty central
commandment (Leviticus 19:18). And a prayer where Thurston's 'I' is
the main active agent is a prayer that puts him at the center and God
in a supporting role. Thurston's prayer is all about what he's
earned and accomplished; Thurston prays for what he insists he
deserves. Thurston's religion is business, a transaction: he keeps
all the 'Thou shalt nots,' and in turn God must prosper him, and
people must respect and admire him. Thurston looks down on others
who don't meet his exacting standards – benignly, sometimes, but
disdain and judgment all the same. Thurston has a lot going for him.
Martin Luther describes his Pharisaic forefather as having “nothing
but beautiful works,” such that he “appears to the world a
paragon of godliness, a fine, pious, God-fearing, and holy man.”
But Thurston's prayer is self-centered, prideful, loveless. It's not
only obnoxious; it's an abomination, a blasphemy. And to the
astonishment of all who heard Jesus, people like Thurston walk away
dirty from the service – stained by sin, and in opposition to the
heart of the God they claim (Luke 18:14).
But
Thurston wasn't alone in the sanctuary. Midway through his prayer,
another man entered the sanctuary. Ira didn't have much in common
with Thurston. Ira didn't wear a three-piece suit. In most people's
opinion, he wasn't “dressed for church” at all – in his grubby,
wrinkled shirt, his hole-ridden jeans riding low beneath a couple
inches of underwear, his grimy sneakers trailing mud behind him. Ira
dressed the part of a teenager – it made him feel young again. He
knew he'd squandered his life. He'd attended First Baptist as a kid.
But that was then. After quitting the church, he'd spent some time
as a radical activist – ah, the passions of youth. The Feds had a
file on him, no doubt. In the years since, he'd rotated through
plenty of avocations. Heroin dealer, for one. Ira almost didn't
come today – couldn't bear to face church families who'd lost a
daughter, a sister, a son, a brother, to his product. A loan shark
he'd been, for a while, after lucking out in a poker tournament. But
these days, he made a lifestyle out of dodging child support payments
and taxes – doing odd jobs for under-the-table cash. Thurston was
very proud of being nothing like Ira. And Ira couldn't blame him.
Ira
sat in the far corner of the back pew, closest to the door in case he
needed to cut a hasty exit – which was fine with most, who'd
learned around town to keep a close eye on their watches and wallets
when Ira was near. Ira knew good and well what other people thought
of him. He used to be defiant about it. But the past weeks had
driven it all home. He could hardly stand to look himself in the
mirror when he brushed his teeth or shaved – tasks he reserved for
special occasions. He felt like the bottom had fallen out of his
life. If he were here to confess his sins, it'd take him from Ash
Wednesday 'til Easter to even tell the half of it – and that's just
what the drinking hadn't made too fuzzy to recall. After a week of
close calls, Ira was desperate for someone to turn to. But Ira had
no friends. And Ira couldn't blame them. So here he was, in the
place no one expected – least of all Ira himself.
Ira
listened with muffled ears to the close of Thurston's prayer. And he
listened, in a way Thurston didn't, as the pastor led the Ash
Wednesday liturgy. Words seemed to trail in and out. “To dust you
shall return.” “I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever
before me.” “We have sinned by our own fault, in thought, word,
and deed.” “Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our
exploitation of other people.” Ira's eyes filled with tears. He'd
stolen more than he could ever give back – not just in money he'd
appropriated, not just in evil causes supported with a hard heart,
but in flesh-and-blood lives he'd broken and ruined. Ira did know
his transgressions. His sin really was ever before him. He could
harbor no illusions about his self-indulgent appetites and ways. And
he could bear it no more. He thought he was about to burst. As if
in a dream, he leapt to his feet, interrupting the litany of
penitence, and with a downcast gaze and a heavy heart, he pounded his
chest with a calloused hand and sobbed the words, over and over
again: “God, mercy on me, on sinner!” He broke down in
blubbering – an unattractive sight. The pastor unsteadily wrapped
up the words of absolution – after which Ira fled (cf. Luke 18:13).
Ira's
prayer was obnoxious. It was noisy. It was loud. It was
intemperate. It interrupted the service. It lacked all social
graces. It came in an ill-dressed and odorous package. It wasn't
eloquent; it was barely English. And it came from the mouth of
someone who has no reasonable expectation in himself of getting an
answer. All that is true. But where Thurston's prayer was centered
on himself, Ira's prayer left Ira as an afterthought. Where
Thurston's prayer was bold, confident, proud, Ira's was humble –
not in the way of our common false modesty, but in real emptiness of
self. Where Thurston's prayer was par for the course, Ira's prayer
was life or death. And where Thurston prayed for his just reward
based on his goodness, Ira prayed for the mercy of God in spite of
his own corruption. Thurston looked in the mirror and saw nothing to
repent of; Ira saw nothing else. And as Jesus tells the tale, the
tax collector – Ira's spiritual forefather, a traitor to the nation
of Israel and a social outcast – was the only one of the two who
walked away looking good in God's eyes (Luke 18:14). If Ira's prayer
is an obnoxious one, well, it's the kind of obnoxious prayer God
loves. Like Martin Luther once said: “We pray, after all, because
we are unworthy to pray.” And that was Ira's prayer. Thurston's
prayer was I-centered; Ira's was I-emptied, for the sake of God's
mercy. Pray like Ira. Be obnoxious like Ira.
Before
Jesus set the stage for the Pharisee and the tax collector, he spun
another good yarn – told of a widow who was destitute and
desperate, and a judge whose hunger for a bribe was keeping her down.
This judge didn't have any awe for God, and he respected nobody but
himself. And the widow came to him – she was being taken advantage
of by all her neighbors, victimized by crime, hounded by the bank –
and she made her case to the judge. And the judge said no. But the
next day, there she was again. And the judge said no. And soon she
was appearing everywhere. You can imagine it: at the mall, at the
luncheonette, in the park, outside his house, there she must be,
inconveniencing him. As his sleep ebbed away, as his patience wore
thin, eventually he says to himself, “I'm sick of this. If giving
her justice is what will keep her away, then fine, she can have it.”
I guess they didn't have restraining orders in those days. But it
worked. The widow was so obnoxious in pestering the judge loudly and
constantly, day after day, that her obnoxious petition prevailed
(Luke 18:2-5).
And
Jesus told this story so that we might “always
pray and not lose heart”
(Luke 18:1). For if even an unjust judge will yield to the obnoxious
pestering of a widow who cries out day and night, won't a good God
give quick and sudden justice to his chosen children who pray the
same way, never losing heart, never giving up hope of being
vindicated when Christ grabs the wheel of this car careening out of
control (Luke 18:6-8)? You see, the widow's prayer is certainly
obnoxious. It's repetitious, it's loud, it's abrasive, it's a
nuisance. And Jesus tells us that God is plenty responsive to his
favorite nuisances. So go ahead and pester your Father. He's not
too busy to handle your case, however big or however small.
And
finally, after treating us to the widow, the Pharisee, and the tax
collector, we see one last vignette in today's reading. Some people
were carrying small children to Jesus – infants, toddlers, maybe
leading a couple of elementary-school age his way – just because
they wanted these kids to have some contact with Jesus. And yet when
the disciples saw this, they appointed themselves bouncers, tried to
interfere (Luke 18:15). Why? Why would the disciples think it wise
to keep these children away from Jesus? Is it because they thought
it would be a waste of Jesus' time, a drain on his energy after a
long day of preaching?
Maybe.
But here's another reason that probably went through their minds:
Kids are obnoxious.
Don't deny it – it's true! Have you ever spent time with kids
that age – kids besides your own or your grandkids, I mean? They
don't know how to shut up, and it isn't like they have much
interesting to say. They have no sense of propriety. They'll dress
themselves in all sorts of mismatched ways, if you let 'em. They can
be loud. They like to scream. They cry at the drop of a hat –
sometimes literally! They're brash. They say whatever they're
thinking; they love to voice their opinions. They eat too much, and
then they throw up all over you. They are, in a word, obnoxious –
but quick to trust.
And
Jesus tells his disciples off – says that these obnoxious brats are
no waste of his time. Their obnoxiousness is the stuff God's kingdom
is built on. If you want to get in on it, start over from here. Be
more like them. Pray more like them – bold, daring, humble,
obnoxious. When I was a daycare teacher, I'd usually ask some kids
to volunteer to lead the daily prayers. They had no guile. There
was none of the Pharisee's braggadocio. Their prayers could be
sweet, they could be long-winded, they could be grating and tiresome
and misplaced, they could be whispered, they could be shouted. They
were, at their very best, blessedly obnoxious.
An
obnoxious prayer like the Pharisee's prayer is obnoxious because it's
hurtful – harmful to those around him, derogatory toward God's
glory. But an obnoxious prayer like the tax collector's, the
widow's, the child's – those are dangerous prayers, fierce prayers,
prayers with all the rawness of wild faith. This week, the world
will be observing the five-hundredth anniversary of the Reformation –
a movement that coalesced when one obnoxious monk challenged the
domesticated propriety and the prideful self-centeredness he saw all
around him. He bade us to strip away the inessentials, to empty our
blowhard prayers, to admit our thoroughgoing sinfulness, and to lean
on nothing else than the mercy of God made near to every sinner in
Jesus Christ. To cry out for grace alone through faith alone is an
obnoxious thing – loud, unseemly, unpolished, impolite, repetitive,
pesky. But in no other way can we trade our filthy rags for a
righteousness we can't manufacture or manage. In no other way can we
gain the humble love through which faith blooms. This week, go pray
some obnoxious prayers. Amen.